UD | You Say You Want a Resolution...

If you have trouble reading this email, go to the online version 01/02/14   Resolve for X Meet Your 2014 Anti-Resolutions If you’re starting the new year by swearing an oath of self-improvement... well, that’s nice. But you know what else is nice: doing the exact opposite of that. In light of this, we unearthed the most indulgent things a person can do. Yes, this would be your cue.     RESOLUTION: BE MORE HONEST Anti-Resolution: A Team of Lie Experts   We have no idea where you were or what you were doing with whom on December 27. And neither do these guys, but they’re specialists who specialize in fabricating believable alibis on demand. This could be dangerous.   411: Paladin Deception Services, handle the truth here     RESOLUTION: QUIT SMOKING Anti-Resolution: Wine-Laced Cigars   Before you start quitting this or cutting back on that, consider one simple fact: red-wine-cured Nicaraguan cigars exist and you can order them on the Internet. Okay, you may now proceed with the resolving...   411: Acid One Cigars, light up here     RESOLUTION: DRINK IN MODERATION Anti-Resolution: Buy a Whiskey Barrel   Some Englishmen have politely asked that you reevaluate your drinking habits. Specifically, by customizing your very own 220-liter cask of whiskey, which will be aged, fermented and bottled according to your exact specifications. Once a year, you’ll be sent a 200 mL sample of your spirit. Heck of a way to celebrate a birthday.   411: Bespoke Whiskey Cask, distill it down here     RESOLUTION: SPEND WISELY Anti-Resolution: Rent Spielberg’s Yacht   There’s coach. There’s first class. And then there’s Steven Spielberg’s 280-foot-long megayacht with its own infinity pool and swim-up movie theater. We’re thinking this is the year you borrow the director’s vessel for a little jaunt around the Caribbean. Call it location scouting.   411: Seven Seas Yacht Charter, drop anchor here     RESOLUTION: TEND TO OTHERS Anti-Resolution: More Massages for You   You may never be able to make music like Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney or the Grateful Dead. But at least in 2014, you can get a vigorous shoulder rub from the same woman who used to massage those music legends back in the ’80s. Those hands have seen a lot.   411: Dr. Dot, unwind a bit here UrbanDaddy is pure editorial. You can't buy love from the Daddy. About Us   |    Archives   |    My UD   |    Perks   |    Contact   |    Jobs   |    Advertise   |    Tips Email Issues   |    Privacy Policy   |    User Agreement   |    Unsubscribe   |    Editorial Policy 900 Broadway, Suite 808 New York, NY 10003 © 2014 UrbanDaddy. All Rights Reserved.