Story of a Girl

12.31.2012

UD | 2012's Most Inglorious Moments

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UD - Entertainment
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12/31/12
 
Good Times...
The Most Dubious Moments of 2012
We had some good times this year. Well, at least until they stopped making Twinkies. And until someone stole a bunch of cardboard David Hasselhoffs for no discernible reason. Those were questionable times. One might even call them some of the most dubious moments of 2012. Speaking of...
 
 
UD - Romney Forgot How to Spell America  
MAY 29
Romney Forgot How to Spell America
 
When your resume reads “Experienced, energetic and motivated professional seeking to secure a position as the leader of the free world,” it’s best if you know how to spell the word “America” correctly. Turns out, Mitt Romney’s iPhone app didn’t get that memo. It went with “Amercia” instead. Oops.

 
UD - The Day the Hasselhoffs Disappeared  
JULY 18
The Day the Hasselhoffs Disappeared
 
It’s hard to imagine why someone would want to steal 550 cardboard cutouts of David Hasselhoff wearing a tank top and holding a glass of delicious iced coffee. Just kidding, it’s not. We totally get it. Anyway, that happened. And so did 550 newly awkward living rooms.

 
UD - Prince Harry Goes Full Prince Harry  
AUGUST 17
Prince Harry Goes Full Prince Harry
 
Prince Harry got all naked. You remember when Prince Harry got all naked. Yeah, there he was, just playing some strip pool in Vegas when out of the blue... he lost. Unfortunately, there were plenty of paparazzi on hand to document the bare-assedness of it all. Someone give that guy a high five.

 
UD - That Poor Old Lady Ruined Jesus  
AUGUST 21
That Poor Old Lady Ruined Jesus
 
The thing about 100-year-old Spanish frescoes is... well, you really shouldn’t let a super-old lady who doesn’t know how to paint try to restore one. Nine times out of 10, she’s just going to ruin the thing. You know. Turn Jesus into a potato or something. It’ll always end that way.

 
UD - The Great Twinkie Depression of 2012  
NOVEMBER 16
The Great Twinkie Depression of 2012
 
You’ll never forget what you were doing the day the Twinkies died. If we had to guess, we’d say you were reading an article about how Hostess was about to stop making Twinkies because they were going out of business. And maybe wishing you were eating a Twinkie. Oh well, there’s always Oatmeal Cream Pies.

 
UD - Hall Gets Attacked by Oates  
DECEMBER 10
Hall Gets Attacked by Oates
 
Hall and Oates. Man, those guys were great. What with all the hair and the dancing and the not going for that. Until they started biting each other’s eyebrows off over a court case, that is. Then it got weird. And “Maneater”-y. Okay, so it wasn’t that Hall and Oates. Still...

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12.30.2012

UD | They Used to Cut Diamonds in This Place

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UD - Hotels
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December 30, 2012
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You Can Call Me Al
Sleeping in an Amsterdam Diamond Factory
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UD - Sir Albert
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VITALS
Sir Albert
Albert Cuypstraat 2-6
1072 CT Amsterdam
The Netherlands
+31 20 305 3020
official website
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Hey, let’s go to Amsterdam.

C’mon. It’ll be great. They’ve got picturesque canals, famous museums, killer fondue and—supposedly—an entire neighborhood dedicated to red lightbulbs.

Also: this place...

Waltz your mental self into Sir Albert, an old diamond factory that’s suddenly transformed into your base of Amsterdam-ing operations, opening January 13 but taking reservations now.

It’s pretty simple: you’re going to Amsterdam. For business. Or pleasure. Potentially even the business of pleasure. And you’ll need a place with a bed. A place with complimentary bicycles, a former Nobu chef and a library of literary tomes from around the world, the better to contemplate the human condition. This is that place.

Walking up, you’ll say to yourself, “This place looks like an old diamond factory.” Partly because we already told you that. But also because of its massive brick facades and sprawling ceilings that just ooze wealth and efficiency. Inside, though: different story. Meaning supremely Euro’d-out furniture, an extensive pillow menu and a robata grill presided over by said ex-Nobu chef.

So go ahead. Traipse across Vondelpark. Peruse the flower markets. Do things normally considered completely off-limits back home. You’ll feel much better knowing you’ve got a cozy room and round-the-clock room service waiting for you.

You know how hungry you get around flower markets.
Note:
Sir Albert, taking reservations now for January 13, more info here, see the slideshow
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