Southern Sass: Six Facts About Sex Parties and Umbrellas

3.01.2017

Six Facts About Sex Parties and Umbrellas

Here they are, the six facts you must study to maximize your week's pleasure levels.

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National

03/01/17

Here they are, the six facts you must study to maximize your week's pleasure levels.

FROM PERKS

A Celebration-Worthy Bottle of Champagne

Times you'll want a fine bottle of champagne on hand to celebrate: when landing a new client... when christening a boat... when scoring a bottle of 2005 Bollinger "La Grande Année" Brut Champagne. Luckily, we got you the inside track on this highly sought-after bottle courtesy of Wired For Wine. How serendipitous.




411:	Wired For Wine

FACT #1

It's Going to Be Hard to Top Sunday's Oscar Virality Next Year

But since virality is all that matters now, you won't believe the (fake) ideas circulating in a secret meeting about next year's ceremony. There are (still fake) whispers of dropping awards from the ceiling, administering 50,000 volts to any presenters who misspeak... or, instead of playing people off, installing a trapdoor. Don't worry, there are plenty more ideas.

FACT #2

Drinking Where Good Bartenders Drink Is Never a Bad Idea

That's because they tend to know about the 130-year-old steakhouses with enviable scotch selections and the seemingly nondescript cafés that have more than 1,400 whiskeys inside. There is a book. It's new. It's full of recommendations like this, for good places all around the world.

FACT #3

You've Got Cousins in Pretty Much Every City You Want to Visit Now

You see, there's this travel app called Cool Cousin that'll connect you with local experts in cities like Paris, Rio, Barcelona and Lisbon. And they want to tell you the passwords to their finest secret bars. So you should let them. Obviously.

FACT #4

It's Impossible Not to Feel Like Life's a Little Better Because Sled Legs Exist

Yes, Sled Legs. They're miniature sleds meant for slapping onto your legs before hurling yourself down a mountain on your knees. Hear us out.

FACT #5

Snctm Is Coming to Spread Its Message of Erotic Freedom

That's right. The LA sex club dedicated to "the eroticism of the human race" and "furthering the cause of erotic freedom" is heading to New York and Europe. Yes, the membership application process is difficult. And involves many questions. But, oh, it'll be worth it.

FACT #6

We've Got You Covered When the Rain Comes

Water-repellent sweaters, Barbour wax caps, galoshes with the least absurd clamdigger-to-regular-shoe ratio: here's everything you need to look good while wet.