This is a warning. It’s about a ticking time bomb. Sitting online. Waiting to release your most private photos—yes, the ones with you wearing nothing but a smile and a tastefully placed lobster bib—for the whole world to see. And it’s primed to blow... if you don’t finish your expense reports by Friday. Introduce yourself to Aherk!, a sinister motivational device that threatens to post shameful pictures of you online when you whiff on your goals, lurking in beta now. So, “later”: an opportune time to take care of those things you’ve been meaning to get to. This website: how you’ll avoid such procrastination, by blackmailing yourself into decisive action. Here’s how: set a goal (win the bronze medal in luge, finish writing Great American Novel/thank-you notes from your birthday). The “what” doesn’t matter so much as the hard deadline you set for achieving it... and the consequences associated with coming up short. For that, you’ll need to upload some photographic collateral (that innocuous but easily misinterpreted locker room shot of you giving a piggyback ride to Marv Albert should do). When the deadline comes, the site will email your friends and ask whether you’ve delivered on your promise. If not, the picture goes up. Good luck explaining yourself to Page Six. |
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