Southern Sass: UD | You Don't Need These Things for Cinco de Mayo. But Dammit, You Want Them...

5.01.2012

UD | You Don't Need These Things for Cinco de Mayo. But Dammit, You Want Them...

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05/01/12

Mayo Clinic

Your Cinco de Mayo Survival Kit

The thing about Cinco de Mayo is... it’s this weekend. And we’ll be damned if we’re going to send you out there to celebrate the Mexican Army’s victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla without the proper essentials. And since we assume you’ve already got the tequila part under control...

SHAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

Handmade Maracas. For Shaking.

What: Handmade gourd maracas and egg-shaped shakers from the Mexican percussion capital of the world: Toronto.
Why: You never know when the drummer from Los Lonely Boys is going to show up and challenge you to a shake battle. Actually, yes you do. It’s never. Still, best not to take chances.


411:	OneTen Instruments, shake things up here

FOUND IN TRANSLATION

The Best Way to Speak Basic Spanish

What: The only English-to-Spanish translator app that doesn’t require an Internet connection to work. (Well, besides a book.)
Why: No roaming charges when you go to Mexico to meet the parents. Of someone who’s Mexican. Who you met under an ice luge. At a guitar duel. Romance is everywhere.


411:	Jibbigo Spanish English Speech Translator, break the language barrier here

BEAT IT

How to Turn Anything into a Piñata

What: A company that will make you a custom piñata of anything. Repeat: anything.
Why: We can’t think of one good reason why you shouldn’t be able to beat the bejesus out of the crepe paper version of your head and then eat a Sugar Daddy afterward.


411:	Piñata Casa Custom Piñatas, create your expendable masterpiece here

RADIO HACK

Like South-of-the-Border Pandora

What: An iPhone app solely dedicated to streaming music from some of Mexico’s most beloved radio stations.
Why: To set the mood. And maybe provide an appropriate musical backdrop for the unveiling of your Mexican Hat Safety Dance routine. Nobody did the ’80s like Mexico.


411:	Mexico Radio Player, get the Mexicali blues here

HAT TRICK

You Knew There Would Be a Sombrero

What: Velvet sombreros from El Paso by way of the motherland itself.
Why: Come on. It’s Cinco de Mayo. If you’re going to celebrate, you damn well better wear a huge velvet hat covered in sequins and mirrored ornaments. Actually, you should probably always wear that.