| | | Now that it's officially warm out in places where it's not always warm out, and everyone is happy and golden-tanned and sated with cool beverages on sidewalk patios with liberal dog policies, I ha | | If you have trouble reading this email, go to the online version |  | |  | | | | | | | | May 22, 2019 | | Fuck Frozen Cocktails
The Summertime Staple Must Be Stopped | |  | | | | | | | Now that it's officially warm out in places where it's not always warm out, and everyone is happy and golden-tanned and sated with cool beverages on sidewalk patios with liberal dog policies, I have some very pressing news to share: frozen cocktails are bad.
Like, objectively bad, but subjectively bad, too—so, in other words, just plain bad bad. They are a red slushie stain on the fluttering white tablecloth that is al fresco drinking. They are a sad melting pile of whatever in a glass. They are an insult to alcohol, an affront to bartenders, a cheap pagan to Instagram. They are a scourge on polite society.
They must be stopped.
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Tom Crabtree/Getty Images | | | | |
No comments:
Post a Comment