We're lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm's way to investigate. Albeit skeptically. We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Copyright pending.) THE CLAIM That you can use the Spaball Kaddy—a seemingly innocuous piece of plastic—and a golf ball to give the kind of moan-worthy massage that, in a pinch, will expertly disguise the fact that you thought Valentine's Day was in April. THE INVESTIGATION Our brave technicians... well, they were supposed to investigate something else. Then we made a casual comment about one of mid-February's top holidays and they freaked out and came back with a hastily arranged bouquet of roses. Also: this thing. They had to put it to the test, so they threw the golf ball (included) inside. One of the researchers sort of awkwardly laid down across a table and agreed to never tell anyone about what was going to occur. Then, another one worked the back and shoulders. Followed by the legs. Finally, the neck. THE VERDICT Well, it just... oh yeah, right there. We mean—oh God, that's the stuff... Yes, it works just fine. The dimples really work that deep tissue. So go ahead, enjoy your night... |
No comments:
Post a Comment