Southern Sass: UD | About Your Resolutions: Don't.

12.29.2013

UD | About Your Resolutions: Don't.

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12/29/13

Up the Anti

Meet Your 2014 Anti-Resolutions

With a new year comes a clean slate. And upon that slate, you can either write “I’m resolving to be healthier and more fiscally responsible,” or you can write... the exact opposite of that. So we’ll just leave you with these tremendous indulgences while you think about it...

EAT MORE EXTRAVAGANTLY

Fish Eggs. Of the $26,000 Variety.

Some people will tell you caviar is an overrated, overpriced commodity. Those people probably haven’t eaten a kilo of coveted Almas beluga caviar from a 24K gold tin with a matching gold spoon. And seeing as you don’t really know until you try...


411:	Almas Caviar from Caviar House & Prunier, 161 Piccadilly, W1V 9DF London, UK, +44 0 207 408 2900, more info here

TONE IT UP A BIT

A Superyacht Worthy of a Supervillain

Adding more subtlety to your life is never a bad thing. How you’ll do it next year: rent a Russian billionaire’s 530-foot-long superyacht with two swimming pools, two helipads and an escape submarine pod. Then, rename it Subtlety. Yep, that should do it.


411:	Eclipse via SuperYachtsMonaco, Le Beau Rivage, 9 Ave Ostende, Monaco, 98000, +37 793 25 03 48, more info here

GIVE YOURSELF A HAND

It’s Time for Your 10-Handed Massage

There are around 700 skeletal muscles in the human body. And in China, there are five masseuses for a total of 10 hands waiting in a tranquil little pagoda to massage you for four hours. So if they can each average around 17.5 muscles per hour, you might just start 2014 off right.


411:	10-Handed Massage at Green T. House, 318 Cuige Zhuang Xiang Hege Zhuang Cun, Chaoyang, Beijing, China, +86 136 011 37232, more info here

TRAVEL WITHOUT A BUDGET

Booking Earth’s Priciest Hotel Room

Vowing to budget your travels better isn’t just a resolution. It’s an incredibly boring one. And likewise, this 12-room hotel penthouse in Switzerland with bulletproof windows, waterfront views, a private elevator and a library isn’t just the world’s most lavish suite... actually, no, that’s exactly what it is.


411:	Royal Penthouse at Hôtel Président Wilson, 47 Quai Wilson, 1211 Geneva 21, Switzerland, +41 22 906 66 66, more info here

BE MORE INACTIVE

A Fortnight of Nothing but Spa-ing

Maybe you can’t commit to something for an entire year. But certainly you can take a two-week relaxation bender in a hotel, where you’ll receive almost every spa therapy known to Thailand. Including something called “LPG Keymodule Endermology.” Which just sounds necessary.