Southern Sass: UD | Penélope Cruz. Jack Nicholson. Weekend. Go.

9.05.2013

UD | Penélope Cruz. Jack Nicholson. Weekend. Go.

If you have trouble reading this email, go to the online version

09/05/13

All work and no play makes the weekend a dull boy.

PERK ALERT

100 Bucks Off an Amazing New Bicycle

By the power of Perks, you’re getting nearly 100 bucks off a seven-speed bicycle that folds up in 10 seconds flat. Not to mention some Eric Ripert–approved Israeli caviar only available twice yearly, along with 20% off a Wired-magazine-approved wireless speaker. Let the “Dancing in September” playlists commence.


411:	A foldable bicycle from MOBIC Bikes; Israeli caviar from Regalis Foods; 20% off a Wren V5 wireless speaker

THE DEPARTED

Apparently, Jack Nicholson Is Retiring

And now, a hypothetical scene from Jack’s hypothetical retirement:

FADE IN.
Int. Staples Center. Or Kodak Theatre. Or some yacht in Cannes.

Jack Nicholson

[Dons shades. Arches eyebrow. Flashes a devilish grin. And walks off into the sunset.]
FADE OUT.


411:	Jack Nicholson retiring, say goodbye to Johnny here

SPONSORED MESSAGE

DOOR REPORT

Real Prizes Behind Virtual Doors

Picture a hotel. Lots of mysterious doors. Behind one: maybe you’ll see a breakdance battle. Behind another: oh, hey, you just won a trip to Phuket. You must be playing Discovery Doors by Renaissance Hotels, an online experience with lots of exclusive prizes. All you need is some keys...


411:	Online now, Discovery Doors by Renaissance Hotels

CRUZ CONTROL

Penélope Cruz Made a Short Film

The time-stamped highlights from Penélope Cruz’s directorial debut:
0:45: The moment you realize this is some kind of lingerie ad.
1:05: The moment you realize nobody at this party is shy.
2:52: Obligatory lingerie pool party with an outdoor shower and a fake giraffe.
4:00: Hey, it’s Javier Bardem.
4:10: And... apparently, it was all a dream.


411:	L’Agent by Penélope Cruz, appreciate good cinema here

COME TOGETHER

Some Guy Is Cloning John Lennon

Meet Dr. Michael Zuk. He’s a Canadian dentist. Who bought John Lennon’s molar for $30,000 at an auction a while back. Now, he’s planning to use it to reconstruct the singer’s DNA and clone him. Leave it to a Canadian dentist...


411:	The John Lennon DNA Project, imagine all the weirdness here

MUG SHOT

Changing Coffee into Booze

So a couple of scientists just figured out how to turn some used Portuguese coffee grounds into an 80-proof spirit. Our suggestion: use this stuff in your Irish coffee. And don’t ask too many questions.


411:	An actual alcoholic coffee, get the buzzy details here

HIGH YIELD

Snoop Lion. Virtual Weed. Weird.

Calvin Broadus Jr. Aka Snoop Dogg. Aka Snoop Lion. Aka... the guy who got a bunch of people to pay a C-note for nothing more than a golden, sparkling cartoon joint via his iPhone app. Which goes to show capitalism is alive and well. And ridiculous.